‘I was a Directioner – a generation of fangirls are grieving’

GettyLiam Payne (centre) had auditioned for The X Factor as a solo act but Simon Cowell teamed him up with four other young singers and created a bit of pop historyAs vigils are held across the world for Liam Payne, BBC journalist Bonnie McLaren – a Directioner from the very start – explains her relationship with the band.
When One Direction were on The X Factor, I was 12 years old.
I’ve often joked I was the perfect age to be indoctrinated. I hadn’t previously shown any interest in boys – but Harry, Niall, Louis, Zayn and Liam were different.
Their teenage good looks, their cheeky, charming personalities, and the fact they weren’t much older than I was meant they quickly became my whole life.
I followed all the classic fangirl rituals: reading One Direction fanfiction, watching every interview the band gave, maxing out my parents’ landline phone bill by voting for them on The X Factor.
For me, it was almost an afterthought that they were musically talented, something they proved as they honed their skills as performers during the reality show’s weekly live performances, after being put together as a group by Simon Cowell.
I wasn’t alone in my obsession. Fans – or Directioners, as we were quickly named – were a huge, sprawling community.
It was more common for girls in my year group at school to be besotted with them than not. We all had a favourite band member, and wore wristbands with Harry, Zayn, Liam, Louis or Niall’s name on them.
When the boys were seen in public, even in the early X Factor days, they were mobbed by adoring fans.
During the band’s time on the show, ITV also published video diaries on YouTube, which weren’t included in the televised programme.
Filmed as the boys sat on the stairs of the X Factor House, where they spent most of their time during the show, they offered an insight into the singers’ personalities.
In one clip, the band members were asked what their roles were in the group.
"Liam is the smart one, Harry is the flirt, Zayn is vain, Niall is the funny one," replies 18-year-old Louis, before Harry adds: "Louis is the leader."
We all clung to the bizarre facts revealed in these videos: that Liam hated spoons (he later explained he had a phobia of using them, in case they were dirty), and that Louis was obsessed with carrots.
Following the band’s time on The X Factor, my bedroom wall became plastered with their faces, and I begged my parents to let me see them on their first tour in 2012.
I succeeded, and my mum drove me two hours with one of my school friends to go to a gig in Bournemouth – a show which was added in order to record the band’s tour DVD. I’ve never been in a room with people so excited.
The hysterical screaming didn’t seem to stop but it didn’t bother me because, of course, I was also screaming my lungs out.
When Zayn pointed in the direction of my One Direction banner, I fell to the floor crying. It wasn’t an unusual response among the girls in the room.
GettyThe crowd at One Direction's concert at the Bournemouth International Centre