‘I have plenty of rhythm when I rap, but not so much when I have sex’- Professor Green’s honest playlist

The rapper is an ‘indie grunge boy’ at heart who belts out Nirvana at karaoke. But why does he blame his nan for his early taste in music?
Rich PelleyMon 21 Oct 2024 02.00 EDTLast modified on Mon 21 Oct 2024 02.24 EDTShareThe first song I fell in love withIncredible by M-Beat featuring General Levy. I grew up on a housing estate in Clapton. East London was notorious for its jungle scene. The older kids would go raving and come back on a Saturday morning, pulling faces.
The first single I bought I hate telling this story. Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini by Timmy Mallett [as Bombalurina], from Woolworths in Hackney. I grew up with my grandmother and she made me listen to Jason Donovan, Kylie Minogue and Engelbert Humperdinck. So I blame my nan, because it was her money.
The song I do at karaokeThere’s nothing better than leaving karaoke without a voice. So I do Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana. I’ve always liked guitars as much as hip-hop, but I couldn’t tell anyone because I had to be a rude boy. I used to rollerblade. The skateboarders called us fruitbooters and we called them woodpushers.
The song I inexplicably know every lyric toI was driving round in my yellow Audi, yelling “howdy”, and decided I wanted to listen to Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi. I love big choruses. Now I know every word. God knows what people must have thought when I pulled up at the traffic lights, singing at the top of my voice.
The song I can no longer listen toI was in Brixton village market, waiting for a burger, and someone started playing I Need You Tonight by Professor Green outside their shop. It was a Friday night and totally embarrassing. I don’t want people to think I listen to my own music wherever I go. I’m not Kanye West!
The best song to have sex toShuffle can really stitch you up sometimes. I remember once, when I Need You Tonight came on. Not the vibe. I have plenty of rhythm when I’m rapping. Not so much when I have sex.
The song I secretly like but tell everyone I hateI love Coldplay. I really respect that they’ve gone through the same struggles as so many bands, but have kept it together behind the scenes unlike, say, Noel and Liam. I’ll never get bored of The Scientist.
The song that changed my lifeJust Be Good to Green by me and Lily Allen. We met at a party, ended up speaking on Facebook, and I said: “I’ve just cleared the rights to Dub Be Good to Me by Beats International.” She said: “That’s one of my favourite songs. Why don’t you let me jump on it and we’ll play it live at Bestival?” It charted at No 3, behind Scouting for Girls.
The song that gets me up in the morningMy son and I jump around every morning to Boys Don’t Cry by the Cure. I’m an indie boy at heart, man, I’m telling you. I’m an indie grunge boy. I don’t agree with boys not crying. But pick a time and a place if you can.
The song I want played at my funeralThe lyrics to Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) by Green Day make me cry. “It’s something unpredictable / But in the end it’s right / I hope you have the time of your life.” It’s saying: you only have one life. It’s the people who are left behind that are going to be upset, and that can be sad to think about. But the lyrics and sentiment are beautiful.
Moola in My Wallet (Sat Nav Rap) by Professor Green and Carmoola is out now.
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